Rosie Lap Licking Lesbo ODonnell Replaces Star Jones On The View…Star Takes The High Road…President Bush Got-Mo Trouble With Git-Mo …Former NYC Top Cop Bernie Da Hood Wannabe Kerik Will Plead Guilty To Low Level Misdemeanors And Pay Hugh Fine For Conflict Of Interest Issues And More On The Northeastern Dry-Out
Lee Says C-YA July 5th Click Here To Download Or OnAir To Stream

New Show (Full Blown) Interview With Hans Blix On Nuclear Proliferation Negotiations With Iran…Lee Comments On U.S. Potential For Success While North Korea Looks On…Israel On The Move Big Time In Gaza Over Soldier Being Held Hostage By Palestinians And More Click On Air To Stream Or Click Here To Download

It’s Black Box Theater Wednesday again, and The Red Room on forth street in the East Village played host to Orgy Of The Dead, one of the best burlesque like, variety show inspired, rump shaking, low budget, but tastefully handled extravaganzas you will ever witness this side of barely legal entertainment.

Produced by Frank Cwiklik and Michele Schlossberg, Orgy of the Dead gets off to a swift start with the narration and orchestration of the initial plot through a frumpy host that reveals tiny morsels of what’s to happen next while we are treated to a series of striptease acts by some of the finest tenderonies the New York dance scene has produced on one stage in quite some time.

Cleverly woven into the background fabric of the show is the plot of a hack writer and his date driving on a lonely, rain soaked road in route to a local cemetery seeking inspiration for a horror story he is trying to write. Failing to pay attention, they crash the car only to find themselves at the mercy of the undead looking for new recruits.

Here is where things get hot as we are treated to nine or more strip teasing dance routines preformed by lusty but not lascivious, sexy but not shameless, shapely seductress’ bumping and grinding to creatively selected music that will keep your eyes peeled for every movement, action and non action they endeavored to display.

Hosting the variety angle of the production was a comical pimp-like Pee Wee Herman Dawn of the dead leader with his barely controllable Morticia Addams companion giving the program additional sparks and laughs while being supported by a wacky wolf man and maniacal mummy.

If you’re looking for a funny sexy sultry horror show short of a conjugal visit in your seat, Orgy of the Dead is your ticket.
Lee The Cool Guy Says C-IT And C-IT Soon

Here is what you need to know:

The Place
The Red RoomThe Opening Date
June 25, 2006
The Closing Date
July 11, 2006
The Performances
Sun – Tue at 8pm
The Ticket Price
$20 212-868-4444
The Special Pricing
Seniors: $12
Students: $12
The Cast
Josh Mertz, Scarlet O’Gasm, Brandon Beilis, Adam Swiderski, Matthew Gray, Carolyn Demisch, Shoshana Hoffert, Jennifer Leigh, Sarah Merck, Jessica Savage, Jessica Silver, Gwen Warkulwiz, Michele Schlossberg
Adapted And Designed By
Frank Cwiklik
The Director
Frank Cwiklik
The Producing Company
Do What Now Media
The End

New Show (Full Blown):(R) Rep Peter King Goes Off On Press Leaks & Wants Reporters Jailed, Leakers Prosecuted For Treason And Hung High…(D) Rep. Ed Markey Says Administration Broke The Law Not The New York Times…Lee Says President And Former Treasury Secry. O’Neill Spilled These Beans Years Ago And He’s Got The Proof And More Case Dismissed C-YA Click Here To Download Or On Air To Stream

New Show (Abbreviated): Bush And Chaney Chastise NY Times For Reporting On Bank Records Monitoring…Rep. Peter King Wants All Responsible Prosecuted Rev. Al Sharpton Says Government Has No Respect For Citizens Right To Privacy Black Box Theater Review Of Orgy Of The Dead Previewed And More Click On Air To Stream On Here To Download
C-YA

It’s Black Box Theater Wednesday again and RetroVision Theater has an advisory for the theater going public to be forewarned of Bob Epstein’s new play, Clean, currently perpetrating a fraud at the Urban Stages, 259 West 30th Street.

Coaxed into attending a preview performance Saturday evening past by a misleading blurb, I was ready for a comedic experience about some mega rich South Hampton businessman raising a dumb, haughty naughty blonde, Paris Hilton-like daughter, while venturing on the wrong side of the law to maintain his cash flow and street credibility as a tough as nails white-collar gangster being spied on by the FBI through the eyes of a deranged Vietnam veteran.

I was further deceived, duped, conned, tricked, and fooled into believing descriptive words like offbeat and fantastical would be the prelude to a clever, humorous and farcical script that would lead to memorable theater. Unfortunately, Mr. Epstein confused words like offbeat and fantastical with juvenile and nonsense, for the work was littered with lightweight jokes with predictable punch lines.

I may have given this schlock, written by this schlimazel a pass if he had, at the very least, developed characters his audience could care about, in order to take full advantage of an outstanding cast, for their efforts were wasted by Mr. Epstein’s lack of writing skills.

With a weak plot, a nonexistent subplot, poor character development and little understanding of comedic timing, director Christopher Maring’s creative staging, skillful manipulation of the video projection and most importantly, Super/Capes Casting’s enlistment of a group of talented actors, went all for naught, as the blame for this failure clearly rests with the lack of a good solid script.

Hopefully, our job of exposing Clean’s dirty little secret will prevent others from being snookered into entering this madness, only to feel like a schmuck, a schnook, or a schmo as they exit.

Lee The Cool Guy Says (Shuck it!)

For those gluttons for humorless, boring punishment, here is what you need to know:
The Place
Urban Stages
The OpeningJune 19, 2006
The Closing
July 1, 2006
The Performances
Mon, Wed – Sat at 8pm; Sun at 7pm; Jun 27 at 4pm
The Ticket Price
$18The Number 212-868-4444
The End

It’s Black Box Theater Wednesday again, and “The Cool Guy” was knocked out in a heavyweight bout of comedy this weekend at the John Clancy production of Americana Absurdum.

Let me set the scene: Having endured a week of seemingly endless bad karma, I arrived at Performance Space 122 in poor spirits, sporting a bad attitude, an angry companion, a newly chipped front tooth, missing an Amex card with a 50k limit and irritable from a minor argument over some minutiae I failed to resolve in a timely fashion. So it should suffice to say I was harboring an unyielding intolerance for anything short of perfection this Sunday evening past.

Like a heavyweight fighter, I had trusted seconds in my corner, Weary and Dreary backed up by Doom and Gloom, ready and willing to offer comfort and support should my misfortune continue its downward spiral.

Little did I know, standing in my opponents corner were two cool, professional heavyweights in their chosen fields; writer Brian Parks and director John Clancy as they lay in wait to club the cool guy senseless like a baby seal with their courageous and outrageous off beat brand of comedy that would be delivered without mercy throughout the two part show, Vomit & Roses followed by Wolverine Dream.

Round One: Vomit & Roses, a crazy tale of a family run funeral home business facing a take over bid by greedy corporate interest represented cleverly by Brian “the suits “Dykstra while a formaldehyde scented mom, played by the outlandishly comedic heroine, Nancy Walsh consoles her blandly unpopular daughter Kea (Eva van Dok) desperately yearning for a date to the prom.

Having the luck of any looser growing up in a funeral home, her last minute date turns out to be the infamous Lt. William Calley. (Vietnam era My Lai Massacre) Fresh from a kill and bound for the inevitable busta a quick move, only leading to the eventual good girl slap, followed by a complete building collapse, crushing a vomit soaked student body to death, providing more customers for the family business, causing the corporate corpse raiders to salivate at their bottom line even more.

This indeed is a family in legal need. Enter Ermine “no it ain’t a palindrome” Miami, as their shyster legal counsel willing to flip sides for the price of a corroded penny.

Not only did writer Brian Parks provide this cast, par excellence, a tightly written, quick witted script with cleverly placed puns innuendo and double-entendres to boot, but they were compelled to deliver their dialog in breakneck, fast paced, rapid fire, tongue twisting fashion with flawless precision. It could not have work any other way.

By the end of the round one, my grudging grimace had been turned into a glaring grin, chipped tooth and all. Yes, The Cool Guy’s sorrowful week was destined to be a distant memory as I doubled over from the laughter induced stitch in my gut.

But the Clancy Clan was not done with me just yet, for after a ten minute reprieve (intermission) from an endless joke jabbing fest, this production company came back for round two to deliver the evening’s humorous crème de la crème with Wolverine Dream.

I’ll not waist your time with the details except to say you’ll be treated to an deliberate plane crash with ensuing law suit, bad news baring clowns, a leprechaun staffed, ambulance chasing attorney, pitting his alcohol derived wit against an airline defense counsel bent on pushing the argument that man has an unrealistic expectation for a safe landing since we were never meant to fly.

Dealing my sullen mood the final comedic coup de grace, actor David Calvitto portraying Wallace Stevens, disgruntled poet and airline owner delivered some of the plays funniest lines as he couldn’t care less about the fate of his passengers focusing exclusively on getting his book of poems published.

Mercifully, the onslaught of humor from Americana Absurdum released me from the funny bone battering experience, leaving me to realize Weary Dreary Doom and Gloom had long ago departed as, John Clancy and Brian Parks had just slapped the shtick out of me.

Thanks, I needed that!

Lee The Cool Guy Says C-IT…C-YA

Here is what you need to know:
The Place: Performance Space 122
150 1st Ave East Village NYC
Opening
June 6, 2006
Closing
June 25, 2006
The Shows:
Jun 6-8, 14-18, 21-25 at 7:30pm
The Tickets
$20 212-352-3101
Special Tix Pricing:
Seniors: $15 Students: $15
The Cast:
David Calvitto, Brian Dykstra, Leslie Farrell, Peter Jacobson, Jody Lambert, Matt Oberg, Paul Urcioli, Eva van Dok, Nancy Walsh
The Author:
Brian Parks
The Director:
John Clancy

The End

No New Show: We Will Be suspending our regularly scheduled programming while Lee recuperates from some minor health issues. While the cool guy is down, we at RetroVision media will use this time to regroup and retool our technology, redesign our crappy website and redefine our mission.
Please continue to visit our blog at retrovisionmedia.com/theblog, as our weekly black box theater review Wednesday will continue to post without interruption. Unfortunately, He’s not that sick!
We will be back on the air, on or before June 26th 2006.
Thanks for your continued support
RetroVision Media

Closed By Authorities Until Further Notice!

The Manhattan bar that came under fire as a result of the murder investigation of graduate student Imette St. Guillen is shut down by city officials citing city’s nuisance abatement laws.

Cops announced Friday that the bar is being shut down as a result of “numerous reported crimes, repeated police responses to 911 and 311 calls, and as a result of multiple State Liquor Authority violations.”

Owners will have they’re say in court Wednesday

More to follow

Lee

New Show: Donald Rumsfeld Responds To Big al-Zarqawi’s Demise..Tony Blair Weighs In…Military Officials Say How We Got Him…Local Politician Wants Racial Profiling For All Young Muslim Men But Not Getting Much Support…Lee Cuts Ann “Ultra Right Wing Attack Bitch” Coulter New Asshole Pueto Rican Day Parade In City And More Front Page Drama Aunt Lulu C-YA Monday Click Here To Download Or The On Air To Stream